Lonely this Christmas
by JOVANKA
Summary: It's going to be a cold and lonely Christmas this year for Mac Taylor without his Stella till a phone call from New Orleans changes everything.


**It'll be Lonely This Christmas.**

**Legal stuff: Unless you know something I don't not mine and It'll be Lonely this Christmas belongs to Mud.**

**A/N: I would like to wish everyone who reads this a safe and happy Christmas or equivalent plus a smacked filled new year. Let's hope our Stella is back were she belongs before Xmas 2011 rolls around c'mon Santa Baby we've all been extra good this year honest!**

**2****nd**** December New York Lonely this Christmas…**

"Try to imagine a house that's not a home, try to imagine a Christmas all alone that's where I'll be since you left me my tear drops melt the snow ….." The sorrowful music blasted out from the midtown bar as Mac Taylor finished off processing the latest crime scene he'd been called out to in the alleyway out back. "What can I do without you I got no place, no place left to go…."

"Tell me about it buddy" Mac muttered sympathetically to the singer.

"It'll be lonely this Christmas without you to hold, it'll be lonely this Christmas lonely and cold…." The song continued on its melancholy way.

"Lonely and cold you're playing my tune my friend" Mac shook his head miserably contemplating Christmas without Stella and snapped his silver case shut tight. Shivering slightly in the icy New York night air he pulled his overcoat tighter around his body and trudged off through the fresh snow towards the alley way's exit where his friend and colleague Detective Don Flack was waiting for him.

"So much for the season of goodwill eh Mac?" Don grinned.

"Yeah three weeks before Christmas and my entire team is working double overtime" Mac shook his head grimly "Does no-one out there believe in peace and goodwill to all men at all anymore?"

"Bah humbug to you too Ebenezer I take it she still hasn't called and said she'll come home for Christmas then" Don retorted knowingly.

"No she hasn't" Mac snapped grouchily "Stella is refusing to speak to me at all nowadays better ask Lindsay if you want to know her plans."

"Just apologise Mac" Don folded his arms across his chest "Two little words are all it would take to get the lovely Ms Bonasera back here in good old New York in your loving arms pronto."

"Why should I?" Mac defended himself angrily "I didn't do anything wrong she left me remember?"

"Oh purleeeeeease not this again! Stella got promoted is all you didn't seriously think she was going to stay in your shadow forever did you?" Flack rolled his eyes "We both know Stel is much too good a cop to play second fiddle for the rest of her life besides she deserves the very best doesn't she?"

"Better" Mac agreed wholeheartedly "She always did but she didn't need to go to the other side of the damn country to do it though did she?"

"Which is why you've been acting oh so mature and have not stopped sulking for nearly seven months" Flack sighed wearily "No wonder she doesn't want to come back what woman would?"

"I still don't see why I should need to apologize" Mac grumbled.

"Mac just listen to me for one more moment will you…. if this was Jess, to see her smile or hear her voice again I'd happily crawl on hands and knees to the moon and back wounded pride wouldn't come into it" Flack refused to be beaten "Jess is all that would matter to me so suck it up and go grovel you love her don't you?"

"Always have and always will….Apologise then?" Mac said sheepishly.

"Attaboy Mac now repeat after me I'm sorry Stella, I was wrong I lov….." Before Don could finish Mac's cell phone sprang into life blaring out Bohemian Rhapsody.

Carefully Mac slid out his phone "Well I'll be damned it's Stella…." He said genuinely surprised and obviously just as delighted.

"Somebody's ears must be really burning or there really is a Santa" Chuckled Flack "Answer it then no time like the present is there to say you are sorry?"

Mac pressed receive "I'm so sorry St…..Yes I understand your only using her phone because it's an emergency…..of course I do" Flack watched as every ounce of colour drained from Mac's face "I'll be there as fast as I can….can't you tell me anymore….you'll meet me at the Hospital right thank you" Mac slid the phone shut with a bang.

"What's wrong" Don pounced.

"It's Stella she's…" Flack had never heard Mac's voice tremble before "She's been rushed to hospital and its serious her friend Liz says I need to get there ASAP if not sooner."

"Oh god Mac she's all alone out there….." Flack fretted...

"I know and it's all my fault look I've gotta go …..Here" Mac shoved his case into Flack's arms "Tell everyone at the Lab I'll call when I know what's happening" then he jumped into his SVU and sped off.

If Mac heard Bing frickin' Crosby croon White Christmas one more time he would not be responsible for his actions after leaving Flack he'd gone straight to JFK but the only flight he could get on was the early morning red eye and he had another three Bing filled hour wait ahead of him. He'd tried calling Stella's cell again dozens of times but it had been switched off then he'd contacted Flack to update him and so all he could do now was sit there and wait.

Ninety minute's into his vigil Flack appeared carrying two holdalls "Danny says not to worry about work he'll take care of everything. I thought you could use a change of clothes and some company so I booked the seat to New Orleans next to yours" He said by way of explanation as he sat down "Anymore more news."

"No nothing the woman who called me Detective Constable Elizabeth Vale…." Mac began.

"Detective Constable?" Flack raised an eyebrow.

"She's British it's some kind of pilot exchange scheme New Orleans PD is running with Scotland Yard anyway she said she'd get back to me ASAP and arrange to meet me at the Hospital but so far nothing. I tried contacting New Orleans PD direct but all they will tell me is that both women are at the Hospital and there is no news yet" Mac filled him in.

"Well no news is good news I suppose" Flack offered hopefully.

"Don what the hell have I done?" Mac angrily berated himself "She should be here safe with me all I had to do was apologize and I was too dumb to do it, I should have begged her to stay …..told her the minute she mentioned New Orleans her how much she means to me always has done but I was too proud and I really thought that she'd come back after a few days so I wouldn't need too …. What if I never get that chance again? How can I live without her?"

"Easy Mac we don't know anything for sure yet" Flack tried to comfort his friend "If I know our Stel by the time get there she'll be running the place I've never known her do anything she didn't want to and I'm damn sure she would never leave you without a fight."

"Nothing's been the same since that night Don…our night together, I screwed up I never should have let things go so far I took advantage of her when she was feeling vulnerable no wonder she hates me" Mac shook is head "I hate myself if anything happens to her then I'm to blame and only me truth is I'm scared to apologise in case she wont accept it."

"Mac from what Lindsay says I don't think Stella necessarily feels that way" Flack tried again "I think your being too hard on yourself you need to stop beating yourself up like this and make things right with Stella I'm sure she wants to put an end to all this heartache too."

"Yeah then why did she leave me? She couldn't even stand to live in the same State as me anymore could she?" Mac declared miserably "I've ruined everything that was good between us and I don't know if I can ever get that back."

**December 3****rd**** New Orleans the most wonderful time of the year…**

After what seemed like at least three millennia to Mac the two men arrived at St Mary's General Hospital New Orleans late in the afternoon, they made some quick enquires with the desk clerk on reception who gave them a room number and directed them to an elevator. As it turned out Stella's room was on the fifth floor and they found a 5.6ish, slim, blue eyed woman with neatly braded shoulder length milk chocolate coloured hair waiting for them.

"Detective Mac Taylor" The woman stretched out her hand and spoke in a gentle English accent "Elizabeth Vale aka Liz to my friends."

"Mac please and this is Don Flack" Mac shook her hand "How is Stella and when can I…we see her?"

"She's fine Sir everything is fine now and you can see her straight away if you wish" Liz smiled.

"Believe me he wishes" Flack chuckled and shook Liz's hand too.

"Thank god" Mac heaved a huge sigh of relief.

"Yeah I thought you might say that" Liz grinned "You'd both better follow me then."

As Liz led the way Mac asked "Can you tell me any thing more about Stella's condition? Was she shot?"

"Actually Sir I don't think I can explain this one….." Liz replied a little sadly "You'll understand soon enough though."

Meanwhile Flack couldn't help but notice the young couple in the first room they passed who were busy fussing over a new born baby boy then in the next room along the scene was repeated this time with twin boys.

"Mac this is maternity what would Stella be doing in maternity?" Flack exclaimed out loud by now completely baffled.

"Liz why exactly are we here?" Mac asked a feeling of terror mixed with pure joy at the suspicion creeping into his mind.

"Why don't you see for yourselves gents we are here" Liz smiled softly indicating to a partially opened door.

Both men peeped through the small crack inside lying in a comfy looking bed was an exhausted but clearly happy Stella in her arms she was cradling a small pink bundle and singing a low sweet lullaby in her native Greek.

"Stella's a mommy?" Flack was flabbergasted.

"She was nearly two months pregnant when she left New York" Liz explained "I'm her….. Was her birthing partner."

"B….but that means….." Mac struggled to find the right words so much so it felt like his jaw had imbedded itself in the hospital floor in shock "That makes me…..."

"The baby's daddy yes I know" Liz confirmed Mac's math was correct "Which is why I called you without the guv knowing I think they need you even if she wont admit it."

."Congratulations pops" Flack clapped him across the shoulder cheerily "Now get your ass in there and grovel."

Still astonished Mac entered the little room whilst Flack and Liz waited outside "Don't screw this up Mac remember I'm sorry Stella, it's all my fault….." Flack muttered to himself as they watched on.

"What?" Liz whispered.

"I'm just praying he doesn't screw this up by saying completely the wrong thing Mac's not been himself at all since Stella left it's like he's lost his mojo or something" Flack whispered back "They've not exactly been on friendly terms recently either have they?"

"World War 111 and then some Donald" Liz agreed. "The guv's been lost without him too I'm beginning to think we should knock their heads together."

"Me too" Flack empathised.

Inside the little room Mac cleared his throat and Stella looked up from the little girl in her arms "Mac? Oh god what are you doing here?" She asked bewildered.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" He roared in reply causing the baby to cry.

"And that would definitely be exactly the wrong thing to say" Flack groaned to Liz as they continued listening in.

"Now look what you've done" Stella huffily berated Mac as she comforted the little girl.

"What I've done?" Mac was incredulous "That's our baby you're holding and if Liz hadn't called I never would have known she even existed."

"Liz? Of course I should have guessed she'd tell you…. Liz get in here whilst I decide to fire your ass or not" Stella ordered still trying to comfort the sobbing baby.

"Technically guv I don't actually work for you remember" Liz pointed out as she and Flack entered the room "Besides all this aggro is upsetting the baby."

"She's right you know" Flack agreed "You two need to take this down a notch or two."

"Oh terrific" Stella groaned seeing Flack "Why don't you just sell tickets Mac!"

"Why am I suddenly the bad guy here?" Mac demanded to know as the baby's sobs grew louder "I'm not the one who kept the most important event in our lives a secret am I? I want no deserve an explanation not to mention an apology…"

"Oh do you well I want you to leave" Stella fumed cuddling her baby closer.

"Not a snowball's chance Stel not till we talk this out" Mac insisted just as pissed.

"Sir I don't know who you are but if you don't leave this Hospital immediately I will call security and have them remove you by force" A calm, southern toned female's voice echoed through the room.

Mac turned to find a petite red headed woman in a white coat with Dr Clarke on her nameplate her hands folded across her chest standing in the doorway "I'm Detective Mac Taylor the child's father if you must know" He introduced himself.

"I gathered that as did half the Hospital still your upsetting my patient and her newborn baby I wont ask nicely again you and your friend must leave now" The Doctor insisted.

"Stella please….." Mac pleaded calmer now "Do something…let me stay…."

"Just go Mac, please just leave us alone" Stella turned away with the baby.

"Stella!" Mac tried again.

"C'mon Mac give her some breathing space eh" Flack tugged at him.

"I'll stay with them Sir" Liz volunteered.

Nodding dejectedly Mac walked off Flack by his side.

"Well that could have gone better" Flack sighed as they left the building together still under Dr Clarke's watchful supervision "So is being a daddy a good or bad thing."

"It's wonderful" Mac told him truthfully as they climbed into a cab "The most wonderful gift anyone's ever given me."

"Ok so how do we make Stel understand that" Flack wondered out loud.

Up on the 5th floor Liz Vale folded her arms across her chest "Care to tell me what that was all about guv?"

"I don't know what you mean" Stella played dumb as the baby drifted off to sleep in her arms.

"Aw guv come off it he's the baby's daddy and you know perfectly well he's right you should have told him the moment you found out you were expecting" Liz pointed out "So why the prima donna act."

"You sure I can't fire you?" Stella queried.

"Positive and stop trying to change the subject" Liz replied.

"I….. it's complicated Mac and me… he's only here for the baby sake because it's the right thing to do and that's Mac I've never met anyone else so honourable even if it's not the right thing for him, even if I've screwed everything up for him he'd never complain just man up and take it like a marine" Stella told her a little tearfully "That's not what I want for him he shouldn't have to settle for me because I got myself accidentally knocked up not when his heart belongs elsewhere.

"Sounds like a good man to me "Liz shrugged "A daddy to be proud of and you'll never convince me you think that gorgeous there is a cock up not ever."

Stella hugged her baby protectively "No never she's the most precious thing in my world" Stella was adamant "Always will be and her daddy….well he's the very best of men."

"Guv….Stella you should know something I never told him that you were pregnant or anything about the baby only that you were in Hospital he came here for you and you alone" Liz explained "I saw his face when he arrived he was terrified he'd lost you for good he cares about you…..really does I mean any idiot can see that and I know how you feel about him you've told me often enough haven't you?"

I….I guess we really need to talk don't we" Stella finally admitted.

"And then some" Liz nodded.

**December 4th New Orleans when a child is born…**

At 7.30 am Don Flack found himself been woken by a loud knocking on his hotel room door, unfortunately the only room available had been a twin so he'd spent most of the night wide awake watching Mac pacing up and down whilst the ex-marine poured his heart out figuring out what he should do. In conclusion well Mac was as much in love with Stella as he ever was big surprise there not and he was delighted to have a baby with her again big surprise not. Around 4am Mac had finally worn himself out and for a few precious hours both men had slept until now of course.

"Just a few minutes more ma" Flack grumbled sleepily.

"Donald dear I've been called a lot of things in my time but I'm definitely not your mum" Liz Vale told him wryly.

"Morning Lizzie" Don sprang upright gathering his duvet protectively around himself after all what else could a guy do when a strange if cute woman appeared in his room suddenly whilst he was semi-naked ….actually he could think of plenty yep yet another thing seriously wrong with this picture Flack rationalized.

"Is there any news" a fully dressed, showered, shaved and shampooed Mac asked nervously, sometimes Flack could cheerfully punch his best friend's lights out just sometimes.

"As a matter of fact there is I have something for you ki8nd of an olive branch" Liz handed Mac a photograph.

"She's absolutely beautiful" Mac beamed proudly at his baby daughter "She's just like her mommy."

"Can I see" Flack asked curiously.

"Here" still beaming Mac passed him the photo.

"She's the spit of her mommy alright" Flack agreed "She lucked out and got most of her genes from the Bonasera side of the family except for her eyes…..she has her daddy's eyes."

"Yeah she does" Mac agreed happily as Flack passed the photo back to him.

"They are in need of a ride home from the hospital so I said I'd ask for volunteers" Liz smiled "Anybody here interested at all?"

So it was Mac arrived back at the hospital at 10am Liz had given him the keys to Stella's SVU which had a baby seat fitted inside but he'd made a few purchases of his own along the way as well as the car seat he had a pink teddy bear for the baby and a bunch of matching pink roses for Stella. As he neared her room he could hear laughter Stella was laughing out loud at something which in turn made Mac feel happy she always had been able to do that make him feel as if he was floating on air, unfortunately that feeling of joy was to be short lived as he entered the room to find Stella had company.

Stella was packing up her belongings whilst a man, another man was holding their baby something Mac had yet to do and it made his blood boil with pure unadulterated jealousy "Hey Mac" Stella spotted him standing there.

"Hey Stel" Mac replied cautiously.

"Your ride is here then" The man grinned, he was a good 6 foot plus with a football players muscular build along with blonde hair and brown eyes guessing his age Mac estimated mid thirties like Stella which suddenly made Mac feel old in comparison..

"Mac this is Ashley Peters a friend of mine, Ash this is Mac Taylor the baby's daddy" Stella introduced the two men.

"Please to meet you Mac" Ashley grinned again.

"Likewise" Mac grunted.

"Well I suppose I should be on my way then my dear" Ashley placed the baby gently down into her crib.

"Yes you should" Mac scowled.

"Thanks for everything Ash" Stella kissed his cheek as he moved to leave causing a sharp stabbing pain to pierce straight through Mac's heart as he watched on.

"Anything for you my dear and little Ms B you know that" Ashley's eyes twinkled as he strolled away.

As he watched Ashley leave a crestfallen Mac wondered why it felt like a little bit more of his heart shattered to smithereens with every step he took.

"Mac are you alright" Stella asked jogging him out of his trance.

"What? Yes I'm fine…" He mumbled "Here these are for you and the baby" He handed her the roses and bear.

"They are lovely Mac thank you" Stella genuinely touched smiled a soft smile.

"After yesterday I figured it was the least I could do…I'm sorry Stel I shouldn't have hit the roof like I did it was just such a shock is all" Mac apologized earnestly.

"No I'm sorry Mac I should have told you about her right from the start" Stella nodded to the little girl " The stupid thing is I always meant to I kept waiting for the right time but there never was a right time…"

"I don't suppose I made it any easier how many times did you ask me to visit 10?20…" Mac shook his head sadly.

"Something like that yes" Stella nodded "But you wouldn't come."

"That would be because I'm a moron" Mac berated himself "Only a moron would ever have let you leave New York in the first place."

"I think it's safe to say we both made mistakes how about we agree to forgive each other and never mention yesterday ever again" Stella suggested hopefully.

"You have got yourself a deal Detective Bonasera" Mac grinned.

"Can I get myself a hug too please" Stella asked coyly.

Wordless Mac pulled her into his arms "Aw Stella I've missed you so much" He confessed.

"Not as much as I've missed you" She told him as he tenderly kissed her curls.

"I intend to be around pretty much 7/24 from now on so much so you'll get sick of the sight of me" Mac promised her as they pulled apart.

"Nah I could never do that you're my best friend always remember" Stella stroked his cheek affectionately.

"Can I…..would it be ok to hold the baby just for a little while" Mac asked anxiously.

"Mac it's more than alright you're her daddy you don't ever need to ask" Stella assured him.

Tenderly Mac scooped up his new born daughter "Stel am I doing this right" He worried.

"You're doing just fine Mac" She reassured him producing a camera from the bag she'd been packing earlier.

"What exactly are you doing Stel" Mac queried.

"Oh this is much too good a Kodak moment to miss" Stella teased "Say cheese daddy!"

"Gorgonzola!" Mac beamed as Stella took her picture.

"Mac are you ok then about the baby" Stella asked putting the camera away "I know she's not something we planned and you don't have to do anything you don't want to I understand if you don't want to be involved with us you have your own life to lead.."

"Stel as far I'm concerned my whole world is in this room she's wonderful just like her mommy aren't you princess" Mac kissed her little cheek "I want to be here for her every step of the way, as long as you need me ….I'd do anything for her Stel anything you wanted."

"In that case you could help me pick a name for her I have one idea but I think that her name is something we should decide together" Stella explained.

"There is one name I like but I don't know if you would agree" Mac nodded.

"Ok on three we go together" Stella proposed.

"Ok 1, 2, 3" Mac counted.

"Jessica" They chorused in perfect unison.

"Well they say great minds think alike" Stella chuckled.

"Or fools seldom differ" Mac chuckled too.

"Do you think Flack would mind us naming her after Angell? It just feels right somehow" Stella wondered.

"It does doesn't it" Mac agreed "I think Flack will be pleased that Angell is still in our hearts…..anyway what do you think sweetheart" he whispered lovingly to the baby snuggled contentedly in his arms "Do you like Jessica?"

"I think she likes it don't you Jess…..baby Jessica Bonasera-Taylor a daddy's girl already" Stella decided.

Jessica yawned tiredly "I think it's time somebody went home for her nap" Mac decreed.

"Me too before they come kick us outta here" Stella laughed picking up the car seat from where Mac had left it "If I take Jessica out to the car can you bring the rest of our stuff."

"Not a problem" Mac passed Jessica over to her mommy and picked up the now closed bag, roses and bear.

"There's the stuff Ash gave us too " Stella indicated out into the corridor as she settled Jessica safely into her car seat "Nurse said it was too much for this room …..Health and safety apparently."

Mac gawked at the display in the corridor it looked like Ashley had cleared out a small rainforests worth of flowers plus the local toy store and the cherry on the cake two huge It's a girl' balloons for good measure. Mac had been so preoccupied when he'd arrived that he's barely registered the spectacle but now it made his own offerings look downright paltry in comparison "I got it" Mac sighed forlornly and began scooping up flowers.

Over laden Mac followed Stella to the waiting car "Where are Liz and Flack" She asked surprised not to see them.

"Ah….Flack said something about breakfast then I think Liz was going to give him a guided tour of your lab" Mac revealed dumping flowers and bears alike in the car's trunk.

"Similar pain can help heal similar wounds I suppose" Stella mused to herself as she secured Jessica into the car.

"What" Mac asked mystified putting on his seatbelt.

"It's a very, very long not to mention complicated story and someday I'll tell it to you" Stella promised "But for now lets go home Mac."

"I thought you'd never ask Stel" Mac started the car and they drove off.

The journey to Stella's place was short but pleasant and they chattered happily as they drove Mac filling Stella in on the latest happenings back in New York whilst Stella described her team and lab to him "Well here we are" She announced cheerfully as they arrived outside a red brick building that looked like it had seen better days to Mac.

"You actually live here?" Mac asked doubtfully.

"Yes on the third floor" Stella rolled her eyes exasperatedly "Relax Mac it's a lot nicer on the insides besides it's cheap and I'm saving every penny I can for a deposit on a house for baby Jess and me."

"Glad to hear it" Mac sighed in relief.

"Not because there is anything wrong with this place though" Stella insisted "Growing up I never even had a room to call my own that's not what I want for our baby I want her to have a garden to play in with a white wooden swing maybe even a tree house."

"Maybe I could help build that tree house someday" Mac smiled wistfully.

"Maybe but DIY never really was your thing do you remember that coffee table" Stella giggled.

"I was being artistic" Mac reddened "Besides there's no law that says all coffee tables must have four legs is there?"

"No I suppose there isn't there" Stella laughed.

"Don't listen to her sweetheart" Mac turned and called to the baby "I'm not the one who uses superglue to fix broken bathroom tiles."

"Ok, ok Touché Detective Taylor so neither of us is exactly the handyman type happy now?" She giggled.

"Deliriously" Mac beamed triumphantly "Let's get you both inside shall we."

A few minutes later they arrived at Stella's front door unfortunately the elevator was out Stella told Mac that it happened fairly often which made him want to ask how she intended to manage with a baby in a push chair but not wanting to spoil the mood with another argument decided the sensible thing was to remain silent.

Inside Stella's place though was a different matter though it was warm and cheerful filled with the spirit of the woman herself and Mac instantly felt at ease just the way he'd always done back in Stella's old place in New York.

"There's only one bedroom I'm afraid so baby Jess and I will be sharing for the time being" Stella carrying the baby led the way whilst Mac brought up the rear with her bag.

Gently Stella laid their new born daughter down into her crib then tucked her in with soft pink baby blankets and the bear Mac had given her which made him feel ten feet tall definitely Taylor 1 Peters 0 he decided.

"Welcome home Jessica" Stella stroked he baby's cheek tenderly.

"You look tired" Mac told her quietly from the door.

"Confidentially this mommy stuff is a lot harder than it looks" Stella flopped down on her bed.

"Why don't I take care of our girl for awhile you can run yourself a bath and relax then we'll talk" Mac suggested entering the room.

"That's the best idea I've heard since I left New York" Stella nodded appreciatively "Thanks Mac."

Sometime later Stella dressed in grey sweats an a blue tank top t-shirt padded into her sitting room having checked on baby Jess who was sound asleep in her cot "I thought you might be hungry so I made us a snack" Mac indicated a plate full of sandwiches and a steaming mug of coffee just the way she liked it.

"Starving is more like it" Stella declared and tucked into a sandwich as she settled down on the couch next to him.

"Stel we need to talk now…..really talk I mean" Mac frowned as he poured them both out a mug of coffee.

"So talk then" Stella shrugged "I'm not going anywhere."

"Neither am I" Mac reassured her "I meant what I said at the hospital I want to be involved in baby Jess' life I want to be here for you both every step of the way from her fist word to walking her down the aisle on her wedding day."

"I know you do Mac…..I just ….we don't want to be a burden to you" Stella explained "You have your own life after all what does Peyton think of all this anyway? Is she ok with being a step-mommy?"

"Peyton? As in Peyton Driscoll what does she have to do with this? Why should I care what she thinks?" Mac was completely baffled.

"Your back together aren't you?" Stella asked just as confused "When you had your accident she came back to you didn't she?"

"Whoa there…..slow done" Mac told her "Firstly I am not or ever will be romantically involved with Peyton Driscoll again and secondly yes we spent sometime together when she came to town, we talked which is when I told her that yes we'll always be friends but she's not the one for me and being honest we both know she never was."

"Liz says that she didn't tell you about baby Jess that you came to New Orleans because of me is that true?" Stella bit her lip.

"Yes it is, you and only you that's why I came to New Orleans I swear on our baby's life Stel" Mac answered truthfully "Don't be too angry with her Liz cares about you and I can't thank her enough for calling me."

"Funny that's what she said about you" Stella drank a little of her coffee "Says she's beginning to know what Jeremy Kyle feels like now."

"Who?" Mac wondered out loud.

"British equivalent of Jerry Springer I think" Stella clarified.

"She's right I do care about you I always have truth is I only came back from London because when it came right down to it I'd rather be in New York with you as a friend then with Peyton over there as her lover….nothing is right, nothing makes sense when your not close by" Mac confessed.

"Then…then why did you leave me like that? The morning after the night we made baby Jess together I woke up and you were gone then later at work you acted as if nothing had happened we went through all that Shane Casey stuff together and not once did you talk to me about that night or hold me….." Stella shook her head causing damp curls to cascade all around her "If it's not Peyton then what is it? Were you ashamed of it? Of us?"

"Ashamed? Oh god Stel is that why you left? Because you thought I was ashamed of what happened that night" Mac groaned out loud "I'm an even bigger moron than I thought I was!"

Stella nodded "The job stuff it had come up before but I'd always turned it down then after that night everything changed and I thought it would be best if I left then you and Peyton could have a shot at being happy together. I only found out I was pregnant when I arrived here for the first time ever I threw up at a crime scene. I called that night but we ended up fighting and every other time since so I figured I'd made the right decision I just didn't know what else to do. I couldn't bear to ask Lindsay about Peyton it hurt too much and somehow I didn't think you'd want an oh guess what Mac you knocked Stella up message via Lindsay so I stayed quite till I could find the right moment only Liz beat me to it."

"I'm not just a moron I'm the king of the moron's" Mac held his head in his hands "I'm not ashamed of you or that night, the night we made love and our baby was the happiest of my life….no I'm ashamed of me…..I seduced you when you were at your most vulnerable how could I ever expect you to forgive me."

"As far as I'm concerned there is nothing to forgive and as I recall any seducing being done was strictly fifty-fifty" Stella was adamant.

"Stella it was the anniversary of Professor P's death you couldn't have been thinking right and me what did I do? Instead of being your friend, instead of putting your needs first I thought with my pants put what I wanted first" Mac fumed at himself "That's why I left I couldn't face myself let alone you I hate guys we treat women that way, take advantage of a woman that they profess to care about they are the scum of the earth and what's a thousand times worse is I hurt the woman I love" Mac confessed.

"I love you too" Stella stated simply.

"What did you say?" Mac assumed he'd misheard or was going insane probably both.

"I said I love you and if you'd stayed around long enough I would have told you I want more than one night I don't think even one lifetime is enough I love you, I always have and I always will" Stella replied "Did you mean what you said? Do you love me Mac?"

"Till the sun falls out of the sky and beyond" Mac said softly "I love you Stella but what about Ashley?"

"Mac Taylor you were jealous! That's soooooooo romantic but Ashley is gay I thought you would have realised that" Stella chuckled gleefully.

"Thank heavens for that" Mac beamed happily.

"We still have a problem though don't we" It was her turn to frown.

"One of us is going to have to move" Mac sighed then he pulled her to him and leant over to kiss her.

Just as their lips met baby Jess woke up "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" She shrieked "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Sounds like somebody needs her diaper changed" Mac settled for kissing Stella's curls once more.

"Well you did say you wanted to be involved every step of the way my love" Stella grinned as headed into the bedroom "You'll find clean diapers in the changing bag next to the bed!"

**December 25th New Orleans Merry Christmas Everybody!**

Mac Taylor woke with a huge grin plastered all over his face his gaze wondered around the bedroom resting at first on the crib where his baby daughter lay sleeping, in his totally unbiased opinion the cutest baby ever to be born on planet earth and then his eyes found the sleeping woman curled up in his arms. It had been ten long days since Mac had last been in this room with his girls like this when he'd very, very reluctantly returned to New York (Flack had threatened to shoot him at one point if he didn't get on the plane) and he'd spent every last moment of the past ten days wishing he was here with Stella and baby Jess with all his heart. As far as he was concerned this wasn't just close to paradise it was absolute heaven. In the corner of his eye he spotted movement in the crib smiling to himself Mac gently disentangled his body from Stella's then slipping out of the bed he tiptoed to the crib and scooped up the now wide awake baby.

"Merry Christmas honey" He whispered into the baby's ear "Why don't we let mommy sleep in huh?" Mac and Stella had discovered almost immediately two things about their adorable baby girl firstly she had a world class pair of lungs that she wasn't afraid to use and secondly she liked to have her feed at exactly 3am on the dot. All the time he'd been away Stella had been the one getting no sleep so Mac figured she deserved her rest this morning "Let's go spend some serious daddy-daughter time together, yes we'd like that wouldn't we?" He told the little girl as he padded out of the bedroom leaving Stella to her dreams.

Later that morning Stella woke to find the clock saying 10.30 am and her family had disappeared so slipping on her robe she set of in search of Mac and their baby. She found baby Jess lying in her mosses basket onto of the sofa contentedly kicking her legs in the air.

"Good morning gorgeous" Stella cooed to her daughter as she picked her up for a cuddle.

"Good morning" Mac called out happily as he entered the sitting room from the kitchen with a bottle for Jess "You're kinda cute too" He grinned giving Stella a quick peck on her cheek.

"I see Flack wasn't exaggerating when he said you had suddenly developed an interest in shopping" Stella nodded to the huge pile of neatly wrapped gifts that had mysteriously appeared under her Christmas tree over night.

"Ah well it's a scientific fact babies need lots of stuff" Mac said innocently.

"Is that so" Stella queried him mischievously.

"Well if it isn't it should be" Mac argued "Talking of Donald dear he and Lizzie texed to wish us merry Christmas."

"Liz? What is Liz doing there? She was on her way home to England last time I heard" Stella wondered.

"Apparently there has been heavy snow fall over there and her flight from JFK as been cancelled so she's spending Christmas at Don's place" Mac explained.

"Doesn't his place only have one bed though" Stella pointed out.

"They are both over twenty-one they'll work it out Stel" Mac reassured her "Anyway I didn't only buy gifts for baby Jess I have one for you also."

"Can I open it" Stella asked.

"Of course you can my love" Mac presented her with a small square box wrapped in silver paper with a matching bow.

"What do you say Jess? Do you want to help mommy unwrap her gift" Stella kissed her baby's head then carefully unwrapped the present to reveal a small blue Tiffany's jewellery box opening it Stella found a diamond ring inside, a diamond engagement type ring.

"Oh Mac I…." She began to say.

"No don't say anything yet I want to do this properly" Mac insisted as he knelt on one knee and took her hand in his "I love you Stella and I love our baby much, much more then I could ever tell you and I think we should be together our little family always. I know it's complicated but New York or New Orleans I don't care where we live as far as I'm concerned my only reason to exist is to make you and our baby happy to keep you both safe from arm. So will you marry me Miss Bonasera please? I should point out baby Jess and I had a long talk and she thinks it's an awesome idea plus I can learn to love gumbo if necessary."

"But all I got you was socks…" Stella blubbered.

"The only thing I want for Christmas is you….." Mac said earnestly.

"That's got to be the sappiest thing I've ever heard" Stella sobbed.

"Is that a yes than" Mac pleaded hopefully.

"Well of course it's a yes….marry us Mac as soon as possible" Stella cried happy tears.

"Yesssssss!" Mac punched the air in absolute delight.

"I think this is the bit when you're supposed to kiss me Casanova" Stella slipped the ring onto her finger.

"Aw damn it no mistletoe" Mac groaned "I knew I'd forgotten something."

"Who needs mistletoe" Stella grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a long, deep, passion fuelled kiss!

**Finis**


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